first of all,
I'd like to congratulate my baby for getting a job!!~!
congratulations baby,I love you!!~!(:
Was @ Marc's before tuition.
Had two birdies over at his shop and they were *aheming*
Had dindin @ baby's place after tuition.
Kitkats for dessert.
I think I look damn chao ah lian LAR!
Hectic week.
tuition on tues and fri.
piano exam on thurs.
sch's starting on fri.
WISH ME LUCK PEEPS!!~!
Random Jokes:
A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train.
After the initial embarrassment, they both manage to get to sleep; the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower.
In the middle of the night the woman leans over and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly pass me another blanket.
"The man leans out and with a glint in his eye said "I've got a better idea... let's pretend we're married."
"Why not," giggles the woman.
"Good," he replies. "Get your own blanket."
Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School.
Usually she slept through the class.
One day the teacher called on her while she was napping,
"Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?"
When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear.
"God Almighty !" shouted Mary and the teacher said, "Very good" and Mary fell back asleep.
A while later the teacher asked Mary, "Who is our Lord and Savior?"
But, Mary didn't even stir from her slumber.
Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again."Jesus Christ!" shouted Mary and the teacher said, "Very good," and Mary fell back asleep.
Then the teacher asked Mary a third question.
"What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?"
And again, Johnny Jabbed her with the pin.
This time Mary jumped up and shouted, "If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!"The Teacher fainted.
A guy goes out pubbing all night.
Gets really fuckked up and at one pub he drinks at (in the country) picks up a duck outside and takes it along with him from pub to pub.
Finally, drunk as a skunk he goes home taking the duck with him.
He stumbles into his bedroom where his wife is sleeping .
Turns the light on and walks up to the side of the bed, still holding the duck.
His wife opens her eyes and looks at the sorry sight in front of her.
The guy says.."what do you think of my pig"
The wife says " you drunken asshole...thats not a pig it's a duck!!"
The guys says " shut up bitch .........I was talking to the duck "
The Statues
In a city park stood two statues, one female, and the other male.
These two statues faced each other for many years.
Early one morning an angel appeared before the statues and said, "Since the two of you have been exemplary statues and have brought enjoyment to many people, I am giving you your greatest wish.
I hereby give you the gift of life.
You have 30 minutes to do whatever you desire."
And with that command, the statues came to life.
The two statues smiled at each other, ran towards some nearby woods, and dived behind a couple of bushes.
The angel smiled to himself as he listened to the two statues giggling, bushes rustling, and twigs snapping.
After fifteen minutes, the two statues emerged from the bushes, satisfied and smiling.
Puzzled, the angel looked at his watch and asked the statues,"You still have fifteen minutes. Would you like to continue?"
The male statue looked at the female and asked, "Do you want to do it again?"
Smiling, the female statue said, "Sure, - But this time YOU hold the pigeon down and I'll shit on its head!"
A Sunday school teacher was telling her class about the difference between right and wrong.
"All right children, let's take another example," she said.
"If I were to get into a man's pocket and take his billfold with all his money, what would I be?"
A little girl raised her hand, and said, "You'd be his wife."
last one..
Holes
Three men: a philosopher, a mathematician and an idiot, were out riding in the car when it crashed into a tree.
Before anyone knows it, the three men found themselves standing before the pearly gates of Heaven, where St Peter and the Devil were standing nearby.
"Gentlemen," the Devil started, "Due to the fact that Heaven is now overcrowded, therefore St Peter has agreed to limit the number of people entering Heaven.
If anyone of you can ask me a question which I don't know or cannot answer, then you're worthy enough to go to Heaven; if not, then you'll come with me to Hell."
The philosopher then stepped up, "OK, give me the most comprehensive report on Socrates' teachings,"
With a snap of his finger, a stack of paper appeared next to the Devil.
The philosopher read it and concluded it was correct. "Then, go to Hell!"
With another snap of his finger, the philosopher disappeared.
The mathematician then asked, "Give me the most complicated formula you can ever think of!" With a snap of his finger, another stack of paper appeared next to the Devil.
The mathematician read it and reluctantly agreed it was correct. "Then, go to Hell!"
With another snap of his finger, the mathematician disappeared, too.
The idiot then stepped forward and said, "Bring me a chair!"
The Devil brought forward a chair. "Drill 7 holes on the seat."
The Devil did just that.
The idiot then sat on the chair and let out a very loud fart.
Standing up, he asked, "Which hole did my fart come out from?"
The Devil inspected the seat and said, "The third hole from the right."
"Wrong," said the idiot, "it's from my asshole."
And the idiot went to Heaven.
they'll actually follow you around!!~!so cute!!~!
