something to perk up ur Sunday(:
...


Bob was in trouble.
He forgot his wedding anniversary.
His wife wasreally pissed.
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in thedriveway that goes from 0 to 100 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !! "
The next morning he got up early and left for work.
When his wife wokeup, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box, gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.

..........................................................................................................

A shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage, he finally goes over to her and asks tentatively. “Would you mind if I chatted with you for a while? " To which she responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, “No, I won‘t sleep with you tonight!“
Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table.
After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, “I‘m sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I‘m a journalist and I‘ve got an assignment to study how people respond to embarrassing situations. " To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, “What do you mean two hundred dollars?!!! "